winterstar95: (preserum)
I am sitting in a hotel room in the peace and quiet, wanting to write and I am sick Read my whining )
winterstar95: (lightcap)
Let's be honest about something. Even though I've produced a great number of words this year already, something is definitely wrong. Since my cancer diagnosis and the surgery, something has been off. Writing hasn't been easy, but a struggle. I can write - don't get me wrong - but there's a halting quality to it that I just don't like.

I am writing and sometimes I am enjoying, but I have to say my stamina left the building when I lost my thyroid. I'm doing okay, overall, but I don't have the same brain capacity anymore. Something is foggy up there. This is particularly worrisome because while I think I can handle one WC rev BB, I cannot handle two. I signed up for two. I don't know what I am going to do now. I have one nearly finished. But the other one hasn't been touched. This should not have been a problem - last year it wasn't even an issue. I've clocked myself and I can put out 1000 words/30 minutes. It is EASY for me. But unfortunately, I'm jumbled and tired a lot at night. I can't handle the load I used to be able to handle last year. I wrote four stories at the same time last year! Without a problem!! But I can't handle two!!

Help!

Ugh!

Life changes sometimes suck.
winterstar95: (JDay)
So for 2013 I am at somewhere around 354k words (officially from AO3) - unofficially it is over 400k when you think about the Marvel BB that I just finished which clocks in at 53k or so and is not posted yet. Then there's the BB I started for Cap-Ironman and that's at 20k (started it on Friday), plus the one I abandon which is at 17k. There are other WIP that haven't been touched and maybe will be ----- but you know what happens if you spend 8 months out of the year typing over 400k words (plus all the crap I do at work) - your hands ache and ache and ache.

So, just so you know, there are downsides to this production.
winterstar95: (wakeupSteve)
So as of last Saturday I think it was, I haven't written anything but posts to my journal and that is it. I finished the Marvel Big Bang and crashed landed. Being sick has NOT helped me out at all, and the fact that my kids are back to school this week doesn't help either.

My goal this weekend is to brush off the Cap_Ironman Big Bang and get it written as well as putting together the next chapter of Bonds Unbroken. I have a pretty good idea where this is headed, but I need to get over some of the details. I will probably give it a go on Friday. But I do need some new prompts just to get my head back on straight to start again. The problem with writing big fic is that my brain wants to stay in that fic instead of moving on. The longer the fic, the harder it is to get my brain to focus on another verse.

Anyhow- off to find prompts to write some one shots!
winterstar95: (CPR)
So it all started yesterday (or maybe before - but I will get to that later)

Pathetic moaning which leads to a possible conspiracy -really I'm serious with death and destruction. Well, maybe not destruction but possible death and all that jazz )

ETA: I'll give it another day. If things get worse I'll go to the doctor on Friday. But seriously I think a conspiracy would have been much more interesting.
winterstar95: (summerstyle)
OKay I gotta give everyone on my flist a hug and just about anyone else who actually reads my mad writing. You have no idea (or maybe you do) how very addicted I am to writing. I literally feel fear when I cannot write. I'm having heart palipitations now because I am going to my mom's tomorrow and will not be back until Sunday evening. Days and days without writing because - well let's just say I will be frowned upon and worse if I decide to take a few minutes for myself and write (even at night after the kids are in bed). So, for all of you who get this hugs. For all of you who read my stuff hugs. I have been lucky enough to be able to meet two great writers in the WC fandom, I hope someday to meet more of you.

So, I'll be around but wringing my hands because all the words are bursting and can't get out!!
winterstar95: (MOD)
In some movie (which I cannot recall) someone says to a child, I won't let anything happen to you. Another person says - well, that's not very nice, then nothing will happen at all to the child. (Or something like that).

As a parent, one of the things you have to do is let your children experience life. Life = Good + Bad. It is the bad things we always worry about and fret over. It is the bad things that cause people (and I know quite a few of them) that hide their children away and won't let their children go off and experience anything on their own.

Today, I let my seven year old go with his camp to the National Zoo. It is over 50 miles away from our house, it is in a CITY - a BIG ONE - a DANGEROUS one. I let him go and promptly went out to my car and sobbed my eyes out. I did everything I could (short of going with and they didn't need any parental units attending because they had 5 counselors going with the group). I put his name and phone number attached to his shirt and in his shoe. I told him about bad people and how bad people can look like nice people. I told him that bad people can come and steal him and hurt him. I warned and warned. I told him to stay with the group, stay with the counselor - always. I repeated myself endlessly. I probably scared the crap out of the kid.

But still I will sit here all day long and fret and worry, because I am the mother of dragons and sometimes you have to let the dragons fly away with the other baby dragons to have fun, and let life happen.

So - please a little plea - make sure my dragon comes home to me. That is all.
winterstar95: (brave)
Does anybody really care that I am spending so much time trying to figure out the model cars and/or motorcycles that Tony Stark or Steve Rogers or even freaking Wolverine might drive/ride? I mean really, this is driving me nuts. I know that Stark drives Audis and the HD for Rogers -- but in the world I am creating I have to be a little, shall we say, creative about this? And yes for the first freaking time ever - Logan is going to be making an appearance in one of my Marvel stories.

So what do you hate looking up for your writing? How much research do you do for those two lines, five lines, a page? Come on - I don't think we've ever talk research!!!
winterstar95: (brave)
five foot snake in the kitchen that the dog was growling at and no, we do not own a pet snake at all.

Dropping over dead from the panic and shock and thank fucking all the spirits in the damned world that it isn't next week when my husband will be out of town. Sometimes, this city girl IS not prepared to live in the country.
winterstar95: (steve-battle)
Maybe this should have been a poll, but I am too lazy to think one up. I want to ask a question about stories. My question coming up )
winterstar95: (cap_war2)
I went on a lovely weekend to meet with the WC fandom goddesses [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] and [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] this past weekend. I learned a lot about these lovely ladies and quite a bit about myself. Let's just say, I am a fandom butterfly and keep it at that!
Read me )
winterstar95: (Tonyplanes)
So, I am on about day 4 of sick - I started getting sick mid-week last week but am not counting those days. About Friday I started to feel crummy and Saturday had me lying in bed hoping to die. I couldn't I have little childrens and many mommy things to do. So I got myself out of bed and cleaned, and washed windows, and hung curtains. Yes, sick as a dog I hung curtains. Therefore, guess what - it is Monday and I am still sick. Hopefully I am on the mend. I am working from home today, so it is nice and quiet and I get some down time, too (which is hard to do with little ones).

Here is my rambling post about all of my writing projects and other shit )

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