winterstar95: (Default)
And this is it. I don't have a lot of places I can go and say anything or complain. Usually I use this space as a space for 'good'. Like this is a good space to report how I am recovering from my latest health scare (and there have been a lot) or that I am excited about a movie. Well, now I need to talk about how I feel right now.

Like crap.

From my previous post you can see that I am not happy because of the reception of a sequel that people begged me for - but no one showed up. I don't understand why people wanted it and then nope, not going to be interested in it. So now I am embarrassed and very sad that I sunk so much of my time into this story. Apparently no one really wanted it. I don't know what I will do with it at this point. I already have over 50k of this story with another 60-80k planned. Seems like an awful lot of work for something that is like screaming to the void. I can do that here.

On top of all of that, it seems I know have a gallbladder issue - in that I am having tests to check it out and they think it might need to come out. I am hoping not, I don't need to go under again. This would be like the 24 time. I don't want this.

Last night I lay in bed and just cried to myself. Fandom is my one outlet and it hasn't been good to me in years. Now this stupid gallbladder thing. Why? I've had so many other issues, why this?

Anyhow that's my vent/whine for today.
winterstar95: (Default)
There are times in fandom I feel pretty shitty about myself. Today was one of those days. I posted the first chapter of a story I've been working on (and tons of people asked me for this sequel) and so far - well it sunk like a rock. Not many hits, lack of feedback. It looks bad. So bad. So I went to a fandom friend and whined. I know that whining isn't going to fix it. But I needed to get it off my chest - just like right now I am venting to no one. Well, let's just say it did not go well. So now I am sitting here feeling extra shitty with shitty on top because I suck at writing and at friending.

Whatever, right? I have no friends in real life - why did I expect to have any in VL.


winterstar95: (Default)

September 2017



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